The Whelk – John Leavitt

September 30, 2009

This crummy southern town

Filed under: Other — John Leavitt @ 9:28 pm

Has anyone noticed that the general “escalating wackiness” music in 30 Rock is basically a more cherry version of “Pirate Jenny”?

Duh dah duh dum dum dah dum.

Belated

Filed under: Other People's Stuff — John Leavitt @ 2:54 pm

bday
Not everyone can say they own a genuine Fred Harper.

September 27, 2009

Found In The West Village

Filed under: Other People's Stuff — John Leavitt @ 11:35 pm

jacobs

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Filed under: Other People's Stuff, Words — John Leavitt @ 12:14 pm

Sometimes I poke Wikipedia for my own amusement.

* 489 – Odoacer attacks Theodoric at the Battle of Verona, and is defeated again.
* 1331 – The Battle of Płowce between the Kingdom of Poland and the Teutonic Order is fought.
* 1540 – The Society of Jesus (the Jesuits) receives its charter from Pope Paul III.
* 1590 – Pope Urban VII dies 13 days after being chosen as the Pope, making his reign the shortest papacy in history.
* 1605 – The armies of Sweden are defeated by the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in the Battle of Kircholm.
* 1669 – The Venetians surrender the fortress of Candia to the Ottomans, thus ending the 21-year long Siege of Candia.
* 1777 – Lancaster, Pennsylvania is the capital of the United States, for one day.
* 1821 – Mexico gains its independence from Spain.
* 1822 – Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone.
* 1854 – The steamship SS Arctic sinks with 300 people on board. This marks the first great disaster in the Atlantic Ocean.
* 1903 – Wreck of the Old 97, a train crash made famous by the song of the same name.
* 1905 – The physics journal Annalen der Physik published Albert Einstein’s paper “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?”, introducing the equation E=mc².
* 1908 – The first production of the Ford Model T automobile was built at the Piquette Plant in Detroit, Michigan.
* 1916 – Iyasu is proclaimed deposed as ruler of Ethiopia in a palace coup in favor of his aunt Zauditu.
* 1922 – King Constantine I of Greece abdicates his throne in favor of his eldest son, King George II.
* 1928 – The Republic of China is recognized by the United States.
* 1930 – Bobby Jones wins the U.S. Amateur Championship to complete the Grand Slam of golf. The old structure of the grand slam was the U.S. Open, British Open, U.S. Amateur, and British Amateur.
* 1937 – Balinese Tiger declared extinct.
* 1938 – Ocean liner Queen Elizabeth launched in Glasgow.
* 1940 – World War II: The Tripartite Pact is signed in Berlin by Germany, Japan and Italy.
* 1941 – The SS Patrick Henry is launched becoming the first of more than 2,700 Liberty ships.
* 1941 – Foundation of EAM (National Liberation Front) in Greece.
* 1942 – Last day of the September Matanikau action on Guadalcanal as United States Marine Corps troops barely escape after being surrounded by Japanese forces near the Matanikau River.
* 1944 – The Kassel Mission results in the largest loss by a USAAF group on any mission in World War II.
* 1949 – The first Plenary Session of the National People’s Congress approves the design of the Flag of the People’s Republic of China.
* 1954 – The nationwide debut of Tonight! (The Tonight Show) hosted by Steve Allen on NBC.
* 1956 – USAF Captain Milburn G. Apt becomes the first man to exceed Mach 3 while flying the Bell X-2. Shortly thereafter, the craft goes out of control and Captain Apt is killed.
* 1959 – Nearly 5000 people die on the main Japanese island of Honshū as the result of a typhoon.
* 1964 – The Warren Commission releases its report, concluding that Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, assassinated President John F. Kennedy.
* 1968 – The stage musical Hair opened at the Shaftesbury Theatre in London, where it played 1,998 performances until its closure was forced by the roof’s collapsing in July 1973.
* 1977 – The 300 metre tall CKVR-TV transmission tower in Barrie, Ontario, Canada is hit by a light aircraft in a fog, causing it to collapse. All aboard the aircraft are killed.
* 1979 – The United States Department of Education receives final approval from the U.S. Congress to become the 13th US Cabinet agency.
* 1983 – Richard Stallman announces the GNU project to develop a free Unix-like operating system.
* 1984 John Leavitt, most awesome human ever, is born.
* 1988 – The National League for Democracy, led by Aung San Suu Kyi is founded.
* 1993 – The Sukhumi massacre takes place in Abkhazia.
* 1995 – The Government of the United States unveils the first of its redesigned bank notes with the $100 bill featuring a larger portrait of Benjamin Franklin slightly off-center.
* 1996 – In Afghanistan, the Taliban capture the capital city Kabul after driving out President Burhanuddin Rabbani and executing former leader Mohammad Najibullah.
* 1996 – The Julie N. tanker skip crashes into the Million Dollar Bridge in Portland, Maine spilling thousands of gallons of oil.
* 1997 – Communications are suddenly lost with the Mars Pathfinder space probe.
* 2002 – Timor-Leste (East Timor) joins the United Nations.
* 2003 – Smart 1 satellite is launched.
* 2008 – CNSA astronaut Zhai Zhigang becomes the first Chinese person to perform a spacewalk while flying on Shenzhou 7

September 24, 2009

Bad Movie Pitch #34

Filed under: Other, Words — John Leavitt @ 5:22 pm

Hank, God Of Skeptics, doesn’t believe in himself.

This Is Why I’m A Writer Not An Artist

Filed under: Unpublished Cartoons — John Leavitt @ 3:54 pm

monopoly

Pitch Ideas At 3 AM

Filed under: Other — John Leavitt @ 9:45 am

Teenage Monster Dance Party

Ancient City Of the Dinosaurs – On Ice!

Spectral Sex Slaves Of Slovakia – Unchained!

September 20, 2009

After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Filed under: Other — John Leavitt @ 12:40 pm

beforeafter

September 2, 2009

Filed under: Unpublished Cartoons — John Leavitt @ 11:41 pm

nartoonjlAnartoonjlB

Filed under: Unpublished Cartoons — John Leavitt @ 11:39 pm

nartoonjlC

Filed under: Unpublished Cartoons — John Leavitt @ 11:37 pm

nartoonjlE

Filed under: Unpublished Cartoons — John Leavitt @ 10:03 pm

nartoonjlD

This Is a Picture Kaspar Drew Of Me

Filed under: Other People's Stuff, Unwanted Illustration — John Leavitt @ 9:52 pm

kaspar

Mr. Bey Call Me

Filed under: Scenes From Nonexistent Novels, Words — John Leavitt @ 9:48 pm

ABOUT USING DEATH ROW CONVICTS TO TRAVEL TO MARS

TRAILER : MUSIC: A SLOW BUILD UP OF ‘MARS BRINGER OF WAR” plays softly over the PRODUCTION COMPANY LOGO

INT SHOT: An officer enters a small high-security jail cell. We see Bruce Willis sitting on his cot. He hands him a clipboard.

OFFICER: GET UP. YOU’RE BEING TRANSFERRED.

BW: ANOTHER FACILITY?

OFFIER: SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Another convict in a more pastrol setting, the offical comes to him

CONVICT: SO ALL I GOT TO DO IS GET ON THIS SHIP? AND IS THIS MY TICKET OUTTA HERE?

OFFICAL: A ONE-WAY TICKET, SURE.

CLIP OF FOX NEWS-LIKE SHOW WITH TALKING HEADS.

LADY TALKING HEAD: NOW MR. STEVENS, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO CLAIM THAT A ONE-WAY MISSION TO MARS IS TANTAMOUNT TO MURDER

DR. STEVENS: WELL NAN, I DON’T THINK I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT ALL THESE MEN WERE ON DEATH ROW TO BEGIN WITH. THEY’VE BEEN GIVEN A REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK TO THE WORLD AND SERVE OUT THIER SENTENCE WITH DIGNITY.

LADY TALKING HEAD: I SEE. LET’S TAKE A CALLER,

BOZO CALLER: HEY NAN, I’VE WANTED TO GO TO SPACE MY WHOLE LIFE, NOW YOU’RE TELLIN’ ME I JUST HAVE TO KILL A FEW PEOPLE FIRST-

POLITE TV HOST LAUGHTER.

WHILE THEY TALK, WE SEE SHOTS OF THE CONVICTS (ANY OF YOUR OLDER MALE MACHO LEADS FOR THIS) GABBING, STUFFING PHOTOS OF WIVES AND CHILDREN INTO THEIR SUITS, ZIPPING UP, ETC

CONVICT: YOU EXCITED BOUT GOIN’ TO MARS?

HUGH JACKMAN-LIkE CHARACTER: NUH. *zips up* I’VE BEEN TO ALICE SPRINGS.

Shot of the rocket going off. Shot of the Men inside hibernation tubes. Shot of the ship landing. The vast Martian landscape.

VO: THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE THE FIRST MEN ON MARS

CONVICT WITH CAMERA: WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT!
HUGH JACKMAN-LIKE CHARACTER: YEP. THOSE SURE ARE SOME ROCKS. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS, BUT WE DO HAVE ROCKS ON EARTH-

OTHER MAN: GUYS! LOOK AT THIS!

VO: WE WERE WRONG

Hand-held Camera POV Close up of a human footprint. A *naked* footprint.

CONVICT: WHAT THE HEL-

*static*

“BRINGER OF WAR’sS” BIG CRESCENDO THEN! LOUD FAST MUSIC!

Increasingly fast clips of explosions, screaming, odd alien biography,half-second nude hot a woman with red hair, a vast underground city, a man screaming “I saw someone! i saw someone walking outside!” shaky cam running, and a man on the surface with his helmet cracking open and his breath turning to ice as he screams.

MAIN TITLE: THE RED PLANET

VO: (whisper) I DON’T THINK WE’RE ALONE.

SUMMER: 2020

(P.S I am still working for work people)

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