The Whelk – John Leavitt

September 2, 2009

Mr. Bey Call Me

Filed under: Scenes From Nonexistent Novels, Words — John Leavitt @ 9:48 pm

ABOUT USING DEATH ROW CONVICTS TO TRAVEL TO MARS

TRAILER : MUSIC: A SLOW BUILD UP OF ‘MARS BRINGER OF WAR” plays softly over the PRODUCTION COMPANY LOGO

INT SHOT: An officer enters a small high-security jail cell. We see Bruce Willis sitting on his cot. He hands him a clipboard.

OFFICER: GET UP. YOU’RE BEING TRANSFERRED.

BW: ANOTHER FACILITY?

OFFIER: SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Another convict in a more pastrol setting, the offical comes to him

CONVICT: SO ALL I GOT TO DO IS GET ON THIS SHIP? AND IS THIS MY TICKET OUTTA HERE?

OFFICAL: A ONE-WAY TICKET, SURE.

CLIP OF FOX NEWS-LIKE SHOW WITH TALKING HEADS.

LADY TALKING HEAD: NOW MR. STEVENS, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO CLAIM THAT A ONE-WAY MISSION TO MARS IS TANTAMOUNT TO MURDER

DR. STEVENS: WELL NAN, I DON’T THINK I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT ALL THESE MEN WERE ON DEATH ROW TO BEGIN WITH. THEY’VE BEEN GIVEN A REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK TO THE WORLD AND SERVE OUT THIER SENTENCE WITH DIGNITY.

LADY TALKING HEAD: I SEE. LET’S TAKE A CALLER,

BOZO CALLER: HEY NAN, I’VE WANTED TO GO TO SPACE MY WHOLE LIFE, NOW YOU’RE TELLIN’ ME I JUST HAVE TO KILL A FEW PEOPLE FIRST-

POLITE TV HOST LAUGHTER.

WHILE THEY TALK, WE SEE SHOTS OF THE CONVICTS (ANY OF YOUR OLDER MALE MACHO LEADS FOR THIS) GABBING, STUFFING PHOTOS OF WIVES AND CHILDREN INTO THEIR SUITS, ZIPPING UP, ETC

CONVICT: YOU EXCITED BOUT GOIN’ TO MARS?

HUGH JACKMAN-LIkE CHARACTER: NUH. *zips up* I’VE BEEN TO ALICE SPRINGS.

Shot of the rocket going off. Shot of the Men inside hibernation tubes. Shot of the ship landing. The vast Martian landscape.

VO: THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE THE FIRST MEN ON MARS

CONVICT WITH CAMERA: WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT!
HUGH JACKMAN-LIKE CHARACTER: YEP. THOSE SURE ARE SOME ROCKS. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS, BUT WE DO HAVE ROCKS ON EARTH-

OTHER MAN: GUYS! LOOK AT THIS!

VO: WE WERE WRONG

Hand-held Camera POV Close up of a human footprint. A *naked* footprint.

CONVICT: WHAT THE HEL-

*static*

“BRINGER OF WAR’sS” BIG CRESCENDO THEN! LOUD FAST MUSIC!

Increasingly fast clips of explosions, screaming, odd alien biography,half-second nude hot a woman with red hair, a vast underground city, a man screaming “I saw someone! i saw someone walking outside!” shaky cam running, and a man on the surface with his helmet cracking open and his breath turning to ice as he screams.

MAIN TITLE: THE RED PLANET

VO: (whisper) I DON’T THINK WE’RE ALONE.

SUMMER: 2020

(P.S I am still working for work people)

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