The Whelk – John Leavitt

June 29, 2011

I Had A Dream

Filed under: Other, Scenes From Nonexistent Novels — John Leavitt @ 3:37 am

I normally don’t like to read or hear about other people’s dreams cause, you know but I had one from a bender of cold pills and not eating that actually made TOTAL SENSE and had a NARRATIVE ARC and everything. And it was about time travel.

In the dream I am visiting London with the BF/SO and we’re near Vauxhall and he wants to photograph things so I wander off and find, of course a time travel shop, where you get to spend 5 minutes in any time you want, but not space, it has to be that actual location. And it’s done like tour groups and I kinda slide in and they put everyone through these gates and tunnels and it’s explained, because of conservation of matter and not fucking up time, any time tourist has to have a representative in the time they’re going to visit, someone they’ll take the place of for a few minutes. Your rep was given to you via a ticket machine that spit out a little brown paper saying CHARLES EDWIN THADDUES: DIPSOMANIA

Cause everyone you took the place of, was someone who was about to die. So you go into the final area and sit in a chair with a big dental looking device in front of you. It reads your card and then very quickly, slash slash, cuts your throat with a straight edge razor.

And then spend a good second bleeding out.

But then you’re there, fully! In whatever time you wanted! I did it all, Regency, Victorian, Edwardian, Roman, you name it. I kept going back for more, until they said I couldn’t, I used up too many slots and frankly my neck was pretty gross from being slashed at. So I held another person, another time traveler who kept going back to same day in June a few years ago, I held his neck up to the machine and piggybacked onto a trip to a Jurassic. Oh wonderful. DINOSAURS. But me being there set off a bunch of alarms. I tried to escape with another group, they fled to London in the Blitz, I got there, only to be greeted with thousand of dinosaur bodies falling into the grand and fancy buildings of London, drawn in my by slipstream and unhygienic travel. The dream ended with me being sent home after being beaten senseless (and loosing some teeth) by the operators and coming back to a London with a very different skyline and history cause it got rained on by dinosaurs in the 40s.


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